The Interests of Others
This is the second chapter of a book in progress, with the working title “Be Not Afraid of Their Terror.” The first chapter is here:
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
—Philippians 2:4-8
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
—1 Corinthians 13:1-3
Writers on the reactionary end of Christianity have a problem with the concept of empathy. They believe that, in its modern connotation, empathy is a tool of feminism that can become a “disguise for [a man’s] own anxiety and angst.”1 Empathy, in their minds, has been corrupted into a form of pity, and to take undue compassion on someone actively working against the kingdom of God is a sin—it’s no coincidence that many who push this concept believe their task is to engage in physical kingdom building, here and now.
If this is the case, though, then God sins in His immeasurable patience with us, while every last human being proactively works against His Law. He sinned when He sent His only Son to take our debt upon Himself, through His atoning sacrifice on the Cross, while we were still His enemies (Romans 5:10). We sin when we aim to emulate that patience and sacrifice among our unbelieving neighbors (1 Peter 2:21-23). This is, of course, ridiculous. The good news of Jesus Christ is that God condescended Himself to become a Man who, in every way, can empathize with our condition this side of the fall (Hebrews 4:15), weep for us (John 11:35) and take pity upon us, and have patience with us, in our state of rebellion.
For example, two blind men were sitting by the roadside in Jericho and called for Jesus to have mercy on them (Matthew 20:29-31). The crowd rebuked them, surely because they believed these men to be sinners who earned their current state (John 9:1), but “Jesus in pity touched their eyes, and immediately they recovered their sight and followed him” (Matthew 20:34). Were these men any less sinners than those who tried to stop them from crying out to Jesus? Of course not; He directly refuted such notions (Luke 13:4).
Again, if we follow Paul’s instruction and consider ourselves to be the worst of sinners then there should be nobody engaged in proactive sin that we should not have empathy for. If I should, quite literally, have empathy for Hitler, how can I not have empathy for my Muslim, Mormon and Jehovah's Witness neighbors, or the vocal atheist at the office who badmouths my faith? How can I not have empathy for the family member who promotes Moralistic Therapeutic Deism2 at every gathering, intermixed with binary political screeds about how anyone who disagrees with his worldview in the slightest is either (depending on his politics) a bigot or a communist?
This mindset of empathy for, and kindness towards, those who work against the kingdom is foolishness to progressive and reactionary Christians. Both place their primary hope in the belief that their interpretation of the faith should spread into quantifiable political action, but this is not the point of the gospel; the gate is still narrow (Matthew 7:13-14) and the few who find it, as representatives of Christ, will be hated by the world (John 15:18-21). Our primary directive will always be to preach the gospel and to disciple into the faith those who hear the call (Matthew 28:19-20). Most progressives don’t believe in a literal atoning death and first-fruits resurrection of Christ, and have instead placed their hope in worldly “justice” that remains in lock-step with the ever-shifting relative ethics of secular humanism. On the other end, reactionary Christians are increasingly getting onboard with concepts like postmillennial theonomic dominionism, which perverts “make disciples of all nations” into a call to conquer the world for Christ, often accompanied by the goal of imposing a blasphemy- and heresy-punishing state church upon their subjects.
Conversely, disciples who not only recognize the Shepherd’s voice, but who also trust Him implicitly, know that “God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong” (1 Corinthians 1:27). They are not surprised when others consider them fools for taking Jesus at His word, when he said, “My kingdom is not of this world” (John 18:36). While others seek a cheap grace and frantically try to avoid interpreting the call to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily literally (Luke 9:23), disciples recognize that the call must be accepted as a literal commandment before it can be figuratively acted upon.3 While others see their status as Christians as a mark of superiority, and some even go as far as to say that civil government is only meant for the redeemed4, disciples set their minds to only boasting in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ (Galatians 6:14). While others interpret the Great Commission as radical social action and belittle those who disagree, disciples know that God-pleasing social action proceeds from the heart change that can only be manifested by the Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 5:17, Romans 8:8). In essence, those who proactively make it their priority to place Christ above all worldly action behave in a way that is foreign to politicized cultural Christianity.
There is no one on earth who, in and of himself, does good (Psalm 14:3). That includes you. The primary reason that you’re not engaged in behavior incongruous with Biblical ethics is because of the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit within you. You are no better than your most sinful neighbor; you are a wretched sinner who has been given the unearned grace of adoption into God’s family, and who receives the unearned benefits of such. If we honestly ingest this truth, then peace, grace and forgiveness should always pour out from us to our unbelieving neighbors, no matter their reaction. This does not mean, as progressives will tell you, that we should condone or sanction their sinful behavior, or that we should believe that the church, until only a few years ago, wrongly interpreted what is and isn’t sin. It also doesn’t mean that we should send our children to be discipled by our unbelieving neighbors, through their institutions, but we should forgive their behavior and do our best to have grace and kindness when they promote ideas that are in opposition to our Biblical ethics. As Paul told Timothy:
And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
—2 Timothy 2:24-26
Western Christians generally have no issue with this instruction, as long as it’s localized to their workplace—the economic motivation to not lose a job is usually stronger than the need to forcefully broadcast faith and ethics to others. There are, of course, limits to this. We should not hide our faith, nor should we affirm anything an employer pushes that is in contradiction to our faith; I’m reminded of a friend of a friend who received a statement of “company values” that he was expected to sign, including that all religions are equally valid. Yet, if we are committed to being open about our faith, then our first commitment should be to be seen as the kindest, most forgiving people our non-Christian neighbors know.
A few years ago I decided to live my daily life, which is overwhelmingly among secularists, under the directive: Be the nicest guy in the room.5 Here are a few principles I hold to, that help with that goal:
Be the first to forgive people when they make mistakes, and don’t hold grudges. If someone is making your day more difficult, they’re likely not doing it on purpose. Give them the grace you would want in return (also known as the second greatest commandment).
Don’t take anything personally. Even if someone is making your day more difficult on purpose, that purpose likely has more to do with their own selfishness than any explicit animosity towards you. Seek to accommodate small inconveniences while setting healthy boundaries that will serve as beneficial guidelines for their conduct.
No matter how upset people get, do everything you can to not get upset in return. People see how you respond, both the person who’s upset and others, and it’s a major point of your witness.
Always volunteer to help, and go out of your way to ask others how you can be of assistance. While most around you are concerned with their own needs, be the neighbor who’s always there to lend a hand.
Be highly selective about what you take issue with—choose your battles. Most things that are bothering you in the moment are temporary inconveniences and are an opportunity for you to have sympathy and empathy for others.
Encourage those around you. Helping people to recognize their strengths not only works towards building a rapport with them, it’s recognizing the imago Dei in them (and helps to make the above inconveniences less common).
This list may read like one found in a self-help book, but taking practical steps towards genuinely giving of yourself to others, in a way that seeks to emulate how Christ gave of Himself for you, has a real spiritual benefit; making a conscious effort to set yourself apart and to “let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works” (Matthew 5:16) results in others seeing Christ in you. Note how every one of the above bullet points is a behavior that should be practiced without question within a healthy church environment. Now ask yourself, how often do you see these behaviors practiced among the non-Christians you interact with daily? If the answer is “Just as much as I do in church,” that’s a indictment of your church, not an endorsement of the world. Based on discussions with other Christians, I’m sure most would answer that there is less love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22) in their office and among their secular neighbors than within their church family.
Again, how can non-Christians ask about your hope unless you demonstrate hope? How can you demonstrate it to people with whom you don’t have an intimacy? How can you have an intimacy with people for whom you don’t have empathy?
Joseph Rigney, “Empathy, Feminism, and the Church | Joseph Rigney,” American Reformer (blog), January 26, 2024, https://americanreformer.org/2024/01/empathy-feminism-and-the-church/.
Moralistic Therapeutic Deism is the belief that the main goal in life is to be a good person who feels good about himself, and that God accepts “good people” into heaven. Those who profess MTD usually hold to the belief that they are generally better people than most of humanity and will “pass the test.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship, 1st Paperback ed (New York: Macmillan, 1963), 45–60.
Stephen Wolfe, The Case for Christian Nationalism (Moscow, Idaho: Canon Press, 2022), 346.
Those who have witnessed the forcefulness with which I often rebuke Christian Nationalism might find this directive ironic, but there is a difference with how we should address those outside the church in daily interaction versus those within the church taking the Lord’s name in vain and who revile those who will not join them in their worldly desires for political power (more on this later).